White Plume Mountains – Night 1 - part 1

 
Dramatis Personæ

Vordon – Human Cleric of Air (7^th)
Near – Elfin Rouge (7^th)
Patchwork – Human Wizard (7^th)
Prince Rakeem the Bastard – Human Barbarian (7^th)
Prince Bareem the other Bastard – Human Barbarian (7^th)

 
Much to Prince Rakeem's delight his twin brother Prince Barim finally caught up with the party - the fungi had caused him to get lost.
Much to the DM's delight Prince Barim shares identical stats and items as his brother – the Clone Wars have begun.

 
The party met with the quest giver – Monsieur Zenith. Zenith was hospitable and explained that he was an old friend of their patron Charles Javier.
The Quest:
Three items have been stolen from the King of Melnibone:
Whelm – a dwarven hammer prized by gem hunters.
Blackrazor – a mysterious great sword from another dimension.
Wave – a fish summoning trident, which lets you breath underwater.
The thief left a note:

 
Zenith explains that the 'feathered mound' refers to the mysterious White Plume Mountain – rumoured to be home of demons and other assorted nasties. While the letter 'K' at the bottom of the note may refer to the legendary wizard Keraptis who vanished 1,300 years ago.
Monsieur Zenith requires the party to recover the trident Wave for which he will pay 10,000 gp. The party is welcome to take the other items or he will buy them for 5,000 gp each.
Because the King of Melnibone has dispatched his own adventurers and mercenaries to recover the stolen weapons, Monsieur Zenith is keen for our party to get a move on. He gives them a rough map and promptly teleports them within half a day's march of the mountain.

Dungeon entrance
 
The first thing the wizard notices is that his Jester is now a woman calling herself Lady Silver – WTF? says Patchwork and proceeds to ignore her completely in disgust.
 
Rogue discovers a trap – but fumbles and gets hit with a dart. The party enters. Below the opening, a square vertical shaft beckons.
 
"A rusty metal staircase spirals down into warm, humid darkness. The stairs seems to vibrate slightly, as if in tune with some inaudible subterranean rumbling."
 
Floor is covered in a foot of dirty water – half-movement. No traps so far.
 
Continuing the party sees:
 
A stoned sphinx smoking a huge hookah.

There are three passages beyond the sphinx. Two are blocked by force fields.
In order to pass into the open passage the party must answer a (drum roll)….. riddle.
 
"My creator wants me not,
And much in dread will I be bought.
My cold embrace is fiercely fought,
Most all who need me know it not."
 
Party contemplates. DM takes a bio and pours a beer.
After about 10 minutes the party gives up and decides to proceed anyway.

Approaching the sphinx they are hit with a symbol of stunning. Sphinx smokes on Hookah and watches with lidded eyes. Party recovers and tentatively passes the sphinx and carries on down the open passage – where they are promptly hit with a symbol of pain, completely fail their saves and take -4 on all ability checks, skills and to-hit rolls – for the rest of the night. (DM grins inside)
 
On down the passage the wizard spots a dreaded Green Slime, which he then blasts with a fireball. Eventually they come to the first door.
 
Disco Room

 
The twin barbarians and rogue enter the room – the cleric and wizard with jester in tow wait outside holding their balls (even Lady Silver).

The room is brightly lit with dancing lights and 9 disco balls hanging from the ceiling.
Prince Rakeem breaks one. 
The door slams shut. Wizard and cleric begin to fret.

Rogue picks lock on door – but the fucking thing doesn't open. Rogue glares at DM.
Wizard casts knock on the door – it doesn't open. Wizard glares at DM.
Cleric hits the door – it heals – Cleric glares at DM.

Barbarians and Rogue proceed to smash globes. Out of each falls treasure – mostly fake – and keys (to invincible door) – mostly fake.
A couple of shadows appear from a globe. Barbarians destroy them.
Cleric keeps smashing door – if he can smash it faster than it heals he may be in. Wizard looks disgruntled at door and then at follower.
A grey ooze drops out of a globe and attaches itself to Barim's weapon. Weapon looks sick. Someone kills Ooze.

Out of one of the globes falls a ring. Rakeem lives up to his name as 'Bastard' and shoves the ring on his finger before anyone can object. The ring whispers to him and says "I am a ring of "wish-for-whatever-the-fuck-you-want-and-it-will-come-true,-promise"". Rakeem is stoked. Rest of party is evious but also a little sceptical.
Cleric, invigorated by the fear of missing out on a ring of wishing for whatever-the-fuck-you- want, finally smashes down door – or did they find the correct key? I can't remember.
Anyway cleric, wizard and ignored jester enter the room. Wizard in frustration fireballs the remaining globes – releasing more mostly fake treasure and an angry Air Elemental.
Combat proceeds.

Wizard grasping at straws or being incredibly creative tries to use a 'tiny hut' spell to contain the elemental.
DM considers, thinks 'why the fuck not' and makes up a spellcraft roll. Wizard succeeds. Air Elemental rolls a 1 on its save and in a moment of utter stupidity allows itself to be caught in the tiny hut.


High fives and the party splits before the air elemental can free itself. Leaving the room and slamming the now totally re-healed door of invincibility shut behind themselves.

 Smoke break and congrats to the Wizard.

End Part 1